How much longer must this go on?

It's so hard to find a good job these days. One that pays well, surrounds you with people you like, and gives you at least a 75% satisfaction rate. I suppose I should be thankful to have a job as so many people these days do not. But in all honesty, if my restaurant burned to the ground tomorrow I would say, "pass me some marshmallows and a couple more matches."

Sure, there are some things I like about my job- margaritas, tasting the wine before I serve it, guacamole, and going home at the end of the night. But the negatives far surpass these few good qualities.

1. The customers! Where do these people come from? Why do you look at me with disgust and confusion when I ask you if you would like something to drink? Did you forget you were in a restaurant? We don't serve diabetes, but the 3 liters of soda refills I have brought you will get you well on your way.  If you are not ready to order, that's fine-I can come back. Please don't say your ready and then want me to stay and hold your hand while you contemplate big life choices like what to have for dinner.
2. The kitchen. These boys have enough sand in their vaginas to make you think you were on a beach in Mexico. I'm sorry that my table has special dietary needs and you're not going to be able to mindlessly pump out the same plate you have made a hundred times. Deal with it and quite your bitching. It's not as if we are running up to every table and telling them we would love to make you anything you would like for dinner-anything at all. It's a hassle for the server too-especially when I have to go to the back to discuss it with your grumpy ass.
3.Begging for change. Sometimes it really feels as if I am on the corner with a little cardboard sign, just hoping that someone will empty their pockets and find a nickel, a few pennies and some pocket lint to throw into my jar. I get payed $4.30 an hour- I  hate it that I have to depend on random people for my income. I could bend over backwards with the biggest smile (most likely fake) and fulfill your every dining need. But your verbal praise and gratitude is not going to pay my bills. And people, you don't need to listen to everything Oprah says- 10% is NOT O.K. as a standard tip- especially in "tough economic times". If your service is horrible or I truly offended you when I asked if you wanted something to drink then fine. But if you are just a chronic 10% tipper- there are plenty of drive-thrus, or better yet, stay home!
4. Children. Ok, Ok, children are little people too, they need to eat. I get it. But my restaurant does not feature a toy land and you really must teach them how to behave and sit. I imagine it's like training your dog. Sit. Get fed. Stay. Don't get beaten. See how easy that is! And of course if your little nugget is so small that all of the food must be ripped into tiny little pieces and less than half will make it into a mouth, please clean up! I shouldn't have to scour the floors and seats after each visit from a kid. It's your child remember? Not mine.
5. Acting like I care. This is a toughy. I'm pretty good at it when I want to be, especially after 10 years in the biz. I guess it's a common courtesy to ask everyone "how are you?" or something to that effect and make it sound sincere. Of course I don't really care how you are, I just ask because it seems like the right thing to do. I think some people have caught on to this concept because sometimes you ask "how are you?" and the customer will say "Bud Light" when clearly that was not the question. In turn, you need not ask me how I am doing because I will have to lie and say "I'm good thank you" or some other lame response as it would not be appropriate to say, "I hate my job, and I go home smelling like tortillas".

Some might say, "why do you hate your job so much? It's really important work that you do. You are changing lives."   ......"Yes," I say, "one basket of chips at a time."